A New Religion?

In my pursuit of a Bachelors Degree toward my efforts to enter the seminary, I have taken as many religion courses as are available at my college. One of these courses is World Religion. The instructor is an interesting lady who teaches at the University of South Carolina, Benedict College, and at my school, Limestone College. All the have campuses in Columbia, South Carolina. It was explained that all religions have four elements that affect them: Culture, Founding, Sacred Texts, History. And as our Final Exam, she assigned us the task of making our own religion.
The efforts were noble and sublime and much in between. I went for the sublime. And in this, I found my choice of subject religion to be surprisingly easy! Below is the basic outline of my "new" religion that I presented for a grade.
As I was developing my assignment, I recall thinking "I hope I don't go to Hell for this." I mentioned this to my parish priest and he found it amusing, suggesting I blog it. I was assured that God does in fact have a sense of humor, and that he would likely forgive me for this. He's right, I'm sure. I got an 'A.'
So, for your entertainment (And for His glory) I present to you:

The HIGH HOLY, MOST SOVEREIGN CHURCH of CORVETTE

"In the beginning, there were cars. They were angled, utilitarian, and void of style form and beauty. Many tried to bring beauty, form and style to the car. All failed. Some were beautiful, some stylish, and some had form. Some were able to bring together two. But, the divine trinity eluded all.

It was then that the Most Divine Prophet Harley Earl brought forth upon the land the most high, holy Corvette. Many car models exist, but there is but one Corvette."
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Holy Days –

January 17 - The General Motors Motorama opens in 1953 to the general public in New York City. On this day, Corvette unveiled herself to the people.

June 29 – The first production Corvette is completed in 1953. The birth of the goddess Corvette.

July 15 – Corvette’s first priest, Joe Pike, founds the first Corvette club in 1954. (Actual date unknown.)

August 20– At a NASCAR-sanctioned sports car race at Raleigh Speedway in 1954, a stock-engined 1953 Corvette races.

High, Holy Month of September

September 1 (First day of the Holy Year) – Acknowledged as the date of the immaculate conception of Corvette in 1951 by General Motors' chief stylist Harley Earl.

September 9 – Ford begins production in 1954 of the Thunderbird sports car, the first of the false gods. Celebrated for Corvette’s accession as the High God of All.

September 29 – In 1953 Chevrolet makes a nine-page news release about the Corvette. This is generally acknowledged as the first of the psalms to the Great, High God Corvette.

October 26 – In 1953 a Corvette has a V-8 engine installed as a test of such installation. Celebrated as the day Corvette became all powerful.
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CULTURE
It was the culture of the car into which the goddess Corvette was brought. The worship of the car is shown in many ways. NAPA, Auto Zone, CarQuest, O’Reilly’s, and many others demonstrate the need of the society.
Additionally, there are numerous car washes where people wash their cars, and others where other people are paid to wash the cars.
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FOUNDERS
The founders were the Most Divine Prophet Harley Earl, and the First High Priest Joe Pike initiated the religion’s hierarchy.
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SACRED TEXTS
A 1953 nine-page news release about the Corvette was the first. Annually, the Creator issues new texts on the Goddess. These include the “Owners Manual” and “Maintenance Manual,” many of which are produced in numerous versions by Chiltons, Haynes, Dixon, and others including the Creator’s.
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HISTORY
Since the First Day, September 1, 1951, the faith has grown steadily. The morphing of the goddess Corvette to appeal to new adherents on a regular basis has kept the religion steady, though it is considered to be a religion of exclusivity. Much cost is associated with inclusion into the faith, and additional costs that are incurred every year are burdensome. Nevertheless, many new members are admitted every year, and most that enter never leave.